We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
