OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
