Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
