i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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