I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize