There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
