I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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