You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
