i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
