i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize