it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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