Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
