Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
