You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
