You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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