He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
