Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
