Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
