Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
