I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Randomize
