Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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