Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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