Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
