"it" just moved
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
