one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
foreskin is a definite game changer
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
