i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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