Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Randomize
