Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
