i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you never un-have a 4some
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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