I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
