Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
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