I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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