how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
