What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
