Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
sex in a hospital.. check
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize