he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
