C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
