so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
