i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
