Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
