i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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