The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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