wakey wakey hands off snakey
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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