I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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