Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Randomize
