They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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