did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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