just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
