You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love having hate sex.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
