White coat. Heels.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
