Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You're my little dorito
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize