i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
