my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
