Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
