so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
