Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
