my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
